QUIZ: Can you match the celebrity to the profile headline?

A Read Max Puzzler™

Read Max is, of course, a celebrated newsletter, a lifestyle brand, a huge career mistake, often late, etc. etc. but it is also, sometimes, a media newsletter, and, on occasion, a place for keen minds to sharpen their wits on devious puzzles of logic and trivia. This week’s edition of Read Max—fans will be ecstatic to learn—is a “classic Read Max Puzzler™” with a media bent: a special quiz to test your memory of celebrity profiles of the last year or so.

Here at Read Max HQ we have noticed (and are not alone in having noticed) that a certain style of headline has recently become the default for celebrity profiles and interviews. You know: “CELEBRITY_NAME Is Here For It.” “CELEBRITY_NAME Doesn’t Have Time For This.” “CELEBRITY_NAME Is Ready to Take a Bow.” While the form of the sentence headline is not by any means a new innovation in magazine journalism (probably the most celebrated celebrity profile of all time was called “Frank Sinatra Has a Cold”), its examples have slowly, over the last few years, taken on an exquisitely vacant neutrality—an oddly fascinating, almost mannerist blankness that is as thrilling as it is alienating. Nevertheless, while the style no doubt has its uses in the age of SEO, celebrity social-media accounts, and stan armies, it does present certain problems: It can be difficult to remember, e.g., which celebrity “is ready to play by her own rules” and which “is ready for a new life.”

But perhaps you are built different. What better way to test your media diet, your memory, and your ability to process these headlines, than with a quiz?

Can you match the celebrity to the profile headline?

The headlines

1. Is Doing Great, Thanks

2. Is in Control

3. Is Unafraid to Face Industry Injustice

4. Is a Force to Be Reckoned With

5. Is Dead Serious

6. Doesn’t Care If You Like Him

7. Doesn't Care if You Can't See Him

8. Has Heard It All

9. Is Done Being Quiet

10. Is Speaking

11. Speaks to the Moment

12. Comes into Her Own

13. Is Ready to Play By Her Own Rules

14. Is Ready to Tell You Who She Is

15. Is Ready for a New Life

16. Is Directing This Movie

17. Has Always Understood the Assignment

18. Was Right All Along

19. Deserves An Apology. But She Doesn’t Want One.

20. Gets What She Wants

21. Figured It Out on the Way

22. Is Feeling It

23. Is Feeling It All

24. Is Finally Feeling It

25. Is Keeping Busy

26. Is Doing the Most

27. Are Doing the Most

28. Is Not Signing Off Just Yet

29. Is Here Now

The celebrities

A. Tara Reid

B. Kodi Smit-McPhee

C. Sophie Turner

D. J. Smith Cameron

E. Sandra Oh

F. Tkay Maidza

G. Adam Driver

H. Jodie Turner-Smith and Joshua Jackson

I. Owen Wilson

J. Huma Abedin

K. Shonda Rhimes

L. Arlo Parks

M. Shannen Doherty

N. Phoebe Robinson

O. John Cena

P. Emma Roberts

Q. Jamie Dornan

R. Alicia Keys

S. Betty Gilpin

T. Gigi Hadid

U. Lyyke Li

V. Kristen Chenoweth

W. Hilary Duff

X. Kehlani

Y. Jonathan Bailey

Z. Kourtney Kardashian

AA. Gal Gadot

BB. Parker Posey

CC. Spencer Pratt

Stumped? Click here¹ (or scroll down) to see the answers!

A brief interlude to remind you that you are reading Read Max, a newsletter about the future. If you enjoy what I’m doing here, whatever it might be, please consider subscribing — and, especially, recommending it to friends.

1

Answer Key

1. I

2. D

3. AA

4. S

5. BB

6. G

7. O

8. Q

9. V

10. E

11. K

12. C

13. T

14. J

15. P

16. U

17. CC

18. Z

19. A

20. R

21. W

22. L

23. X

24. F

25. Y

26. N

27. H

28. M

29. B