26 Comments
Dec 7, 2022Liked by Max Read

Please buy and write more articles about fucked-up garbage technology

Expand full comment

Good phone

Expand full comment
Dec 8, 2022Liked by Max Read

I have this. I also have an 8bitdo Zero controller and a 3D printed case that puts the two together as an incredibly tiny handheld console that could play PS2 and Wii games. I have it in my bag because it takes up close to zero space, and I actually used it for a month as my primary phone when my main phone was broken and in warranty repairs. For fun and giggles I installed Android Desktop mods on it and used it as a desktop too, so I can say I have the worlds smallest desktop PC: https://i.imgur.com/3yvTW8i.jpeg

Expand full comment
Dec 8, 2022Liked by Max Read

FWIW, you can massively improve the camera by sideloading the Google Camera app on it. There are some tutorials on the UnihertzJelly2 subreddit.

Expand full comment

THIS IS GOLD (The article. The phone is probably not gold.)

Expand full comment
Dec 7, 2022Liked by Max Read

this was so special to me as a now reformed(or latent) compulsive-phone-switcher. the fucked factor of it all IS very fun and funny and entertaining! unihertz engineers as the over qualified contestants in their own made-for-streaming reality tv competition is such a good analogy i love it

Expand full comment
Dec 7, 2022Liked by Max Read

I think that screen size is about the same as the effective screensize of the old LG phones they were unloading at AT&T in 2010, running Android ... 4, I think. ... Yeah!: https://phonesdata.com/en/smartphones/lg/optimus-one-p500-615/ Nope, Android 2.2. I bricked it trying to replaced the rom with a edited version.

¨In fact, I think if it was just slightly bigger, say four or 4.5 inches, Unihertz would be able to fix the issues it has (a larger battery, easier to type on, better camera, maybe a little thinner).¨

Well, at 4-4.5¨ it would be a perfect ´Oh crap, I lost my phone´ phone/backup burner/emergency car phone. Especially if they just ditched the camera(s).

¨But which 80 percent? What is going to break, and how? What can I learn about the gadget -- and myself -- when it breaks?¨

Having spent literally decades assembling (and reassembling) electronic things (I could insert a ´by cracky!´ here but I won´t) really, please proceed. That stuff is tiring.

elm

which is to say, it´s tiresome enough making working devices do what i want

Expand full comment

I'm so glad to know someone is out there creating fucked up phones like this still.

Expand full comment

I enjoyed this tremendously, both in the content and the writing style. Well done, and long live fuckin' freak-ass phones for absolute weirdos.

Expand full comment

I cant believe i read the whole thing

Expand full comment

Now I... want it 🙊

Expand full comment

I started using this phone more than a year ago out of curiosity. At that time, I thought I might be able to tolerate it for a week or two. In reality, I've never gone back. I agree with (and relate to) everything in this article.

Expand full comment

I remember in college when I bought an iRiver CD-MP3 player instead of an iPod. It was ganky and weird - finicky with the burned CDs it would use and hard to navigate its file structure such that I would just use it on shuffle most of the time, despite shuffling taking forever as it had to manually move the read head to a random location and load the next song.

BUT! When it worked, it felt special. It made ME feel special and clever for having saved so much money. Sure I had to jump through a lot more hoops to use it but that just made me feel like it was all that much more worth it.

Then 6 months later it stopped feeling special and I stopped using it. The inconveniences were laid bare and became all I saw whenever I used it. This has been the arc of tech adoption my entire life. I buy The "Good Enough" Thing only for me to realize later it kinda sucks and I should just splurge on The Good Thing. Lately I've tried to rebel against this and bought The Best Thing instead only to realize the improvements are marginal and you're going to still run into frustrations. Happy mediums are hard to find.

Expand full comment

Dan/Max crossover event!!!

Expand full comment

What a throwback, I miss these simpler times.

I appreciate you bringing Dan in for this excellent review - how could you not purchase Jelly 2?

Expand full comment

This is easily the most enjoyable article I've read in months, and I'm totally going to buy the Jelly 2 and be happily and contentedly underwhelmed by it. Thanks!

Expand full comment

Enjoyed this a lot. I'd be tempted, but I'd probably try to justify it somehow, which sounds like it would defeat the (lack of) purpose

Expand full comment