The Read Max year in review 2025
Over 30 lists and 15,000 words from Read Max friends, foes, and family
Greetings from Read Max HQ! To celebrate the end of 2025, I sent out an email to dozens of Read Max contributors, readers, inspirations, and haters, and asked: Will you make me a year-end top 10 list?
Many of them responded to the prompt, to varying degrees of fidelity, and the result is nearly 15,000 words about, among other topics, “the best death metal songs about A.I.,” “the best questions my five-year-old had about the Philly Phanatic,” and “the best ways I misspelled ‘penis’ in texts to my friends.”
To help navigate this prodigious text, I have divided up the lists by section. You can jump to a section you would like to read here:
If you are looking for an arbitrary list to jump in on, may I particularly recommend:
This is, maybe, the last free Read Max newsletter of the year, barring an unforeseen desire to work next week? (The paywalled year-end up book round will come over the weekend.) It’s been a wonderful year for me in my capacity as this newsletter’s proprietor and editor thanks entirely to the support and attention of my wonderful readers. I love you all, but I especially love those of you who value this newsletter enough to pay--if you like Read Max, and if you find yourself returning to, e.g., this deranged post from time to time over the holidays as you avoid your family, consider upgrading your subscription (or giving a gift subscription!) for the low cost of $5/month and $50/year.
The year in music
lindsey Weber, Who? Weekly
The 10 Best Line Dances I (Lindsey Weber) Learned in 2025
TRUCK BED by Emily Kessler and Mackenzie Katz (HARDY, “TRUCK BED”)
WAVE ON WAVE by Alan Birchall (Pat Green, “Wave on Wave”)
DIM THE LIGHTS by Maddison Glover & Rachael McEnaney (”The Kind of Love We Make,” Luke Combs)
HONKY TONK WAY by Landon James Purvis & Mark Paulino (“I See Country,” Ian Munsick)
(GAY) GUY FOR THAT by Sean Monaghan (“Guy For That,” Post Malone ft. Luke Combs)
HALF PAST TIPSY by Maddison Glover & Rachael McEnaney (“1, 2 Many,” Luke Combs, Brooks & Dunn)
ALL SHE LEFT WAS ME by Darren Bailey (“ALL SHE LEFT WAS ME,” HARDY)
TRAINWRECK by Niels Poulsen (“Can’t Let Go,” Jill King)
GET THE JOB DONE by Corey Lubowich and Sean Monaghan (“The Giver,” Chappell Roan)
ESCAPADE by Tenaya Kelleher (“Escapade,” Janet Jackson)
If you just have time to learn just one dance, try “HALF PAST TIPSY” and don your boots to one of these many beautiful, perfect line dancing parties in the NYC area. No drinks on the dance floor. See ya there.
Ezra Klein, “The Ezra Klein Show”
5 Songs That Gave Me Dopamine in 2025
“Dopamine (Jamie XX remix),” by Robyn and Jamie XX. I was listening to this song when I got this email, hence this list. It’s a very, very good song though. “Kill Dem“ is also great, I you like that really choppy Jamie XX sound. I do!
“A Tune For Us,” by Djrum. I don’t know how many times I listened to the first four songs on this album this year. Beautiful and strange and propulsive.
“Reliquia,” by Rosalía. Rosalia and Caroline Shaw! ‘Nuff said
“Dynamite“ by Taio Cruz and “Sandstorm“ by Darude. These get grouped together because my four-year-old loves dancing to them, and because of that, so do I.
“DJ Kicks,” by Logic1000. Bit of a cheat, but I loved this mix and listened to it over and over again. Woozy and slinky.
Brian Merchant, Blood in the Machine
The best death metal songs about AI in 2025
“Technologist Hell Future,” from Grinding Mechanism of Torment by Caustic Wound.
“Infanticide A.I.”, from Para Bellum by Testament.
“Artificial Harvest of the Obscene”, from Diseased Machine by Mutagenic Host.
“Methanized Autocatalytic Clash Culminated Into Ascetic Abolishment,” from Metagonist by Kakothanasy.
“Symettrical Bludgeoning” from The Programmed Obsolescence of Your Kind by Vacant Moley.
Sam Valenti, Herb Sundays & Ghostly International Journal
The Five Best Holiday Songs in 2025
The Little Drummer Boy -Johnny Mathis, 1986
We Three Kings - from the Claymation Holiday special, 1987
Carol Of The Bells - Home Alone version
This Christmas - Donny Hathaway
Just Like Christmas - Low
Max Silvestri, I Need You Guys & I Love LA
Top 5 Jokes About the Band Geese but only for People Who Lived in Brooklyn or Read Pitchfork Between 2005 and 2010.
5. Geese? More like Flying V on the Radio
4. Geese? More like Floc Party.
3. Geese? More like the Squawkmen.
2. Geese? More like the Honk Steady.
1. Geese? More like Quack Your Hands Say Yeah.
The year in books
B.D. McClay, BDM
Novels of the year
Novel of the Year (That Was Actually Published in 2025, Unlike Every Other Entry Here)
Moderation (Elaine Castillo)
Novel of the Year (That Was Okay Yes Published In English In 2025, But Not Written Then, So It Doesn’t Count)
Underground Barbie (Maša Kolanović)
Novel of the Year (That I Have To Recommend With “There’s Just One Thing Though”)
Floating Worlds (Cecelia Holland)
Novel of the Year (For When You’re Going Through It, Normal Version)
Territory of Light (Yuko Tsushima)
Novel of the Year (For When You’re Going Through It, Esoteric Version)
The Course of the Heart (M. John Harrison)
Novel of the Year (For When You Just Want Something That Whips And Dare I Say Bangs)
The Game of Kings (Dorothy Dunnett)
Novel of the Year (If You Need To Get Sentimental About Your Dog, Who Is Fine, But You Just, You Think About Him, And His Beautiful Little Ears, And You Just Get All Choked Up, And—)
Sirius (Olaf Stapledon)
Novel of the Year (You Ever Hear Of This Book? It’s Like, Good? Oh, You All Did?)
The Age of Innocence (Edith Wharton)
Novel of the Year (That’s Actually A Short Story Collection From Hell)
Toddler Hunting (Taeko Kono)
Novel of the Year (That’s Also Actually A Collection Of Short Stories I Read For Research By Somebody I Should Have Already Read But I Hadn’t Anyway It’s Good He’s Good You Were All Right)
The Best of Gene Wolfe (Gene Wolfe)
Alex Press, Jacobin
Top Five Books I Read This Year (I can’t elaborate much on these because then my contribution would be way too long)
Midaq Alley: More novels should be set in one very defined location.
Everything John Reed wrote: No explanation needed, they shoulda let him live longer. Start with Insurgent Mexico, not Ten Days That Shook the World.
The Power Broker: OK I’m only halfway through.
Lonesome Dove: I know everyone read this one this year but I did it because my pal Kaleb Horton said it was great and so when he passed away, I figured it was time.
Which Side Are You On? Trying to Be for Labor When It’s Flat on Its Back by Thomas Geoghegan: Fantastic and funny book about being committed to the labor movement even as it is all but extinct. Not enough writing about the labor world is funny
Celine Nguyen, personal canon
Best merch for the performative reader
① Georges Bataille t-shirt from semiotext(e), to shyly signal your commitment to transgressive literature
② Sheila Heti or Gertrude Stein hats from Womb House Books, for the literary man in search of a lover (the bell hooks hat is already sold out, sorry)
③ Vasily Grossman’s Life and Fate baseball cap from NYRB Books (when someone mentions wanting to read War and Peace, casually say that you thought Grossman’s Life and Fate was better)
④ Fitzcarraldo tote bag (perfect for the literary it girl’s grocery haul)
⑤ John Morgan’s Usylessly from Tenderbooks (for the true Joyce devotee who already owns multiple editions of Ulysses)
Best weird little books (complimentary)
① For the artist (regrettably) fluent in International Art English, Sharon Kivland’s Unable to Achieve Broad Recognition in my Lifetime, I Laboured in Obscurity Until My Death Last Year, where sentences from exhibition press releases are rewritten in the first person
② For the pro-hedonism, anti-vape romantics,Thomas Sauvin’s Until Death Do Us Part from Tenderbooks, a photo book of people smoking at Chinese weddings
③ For the archive fashion ‘collector’ (addict), Kyoichi Tsuzuki’s Happy Victims, a photo book with portraits of a Buddhist monk and Comme des Garçons fan, among other victims of Japanese avant-garde brands
④ For the chatroulette OGs, A Sexual History of the Internet by Mindy Seu and others
⑤ For the eBay archivist and experienced auction sniper, Annie Collinge & Claire Huss’s Things I Looked at on eBay Today
Tom Scocca, Indignity
8 Zingers From The Count of Monte Cristo
This year, before steeling myself to start publishing serialized fiction of my own, I spent a few weekends finally reading Alexandre Dumas’ The Count of Monte Cristo, in Robin Buss’ Penguin Classics translation, which had been taking up a span of more than two inches on our bookshelf for years. The 1,243 pages flew by, like the entertainment-by-installment they had originally been, packed with passion and daring and pathos and prodigious feats—and, especially as the vengeful Count insinuates his way into high Parisian society, spiked with plenty of pointed remarks that read as if perhaps Dumas, no less than his protagonist, had some scores he wanted to settle:
Villefort was struck by this coincidence; and the emotion in the voice of Dantès, whose happiness had been interrupted, sounded a sympathetic chord with him: he too was to be married, he too was happy, and his own felicity had been disturbed so that he might help to destroy that of a man who, like himself, was on the very brink of happiness.
This philosophical analogy, he thought, would cause a great stir when he returned to M. de Saint-Méran’s salon; and, while Dantès waited for his next question, he was already mentally ordering the antitheses around which orators construct those sentences designed to elicit applause, but which sometimes produce the illusion of true eloquence. (Chapter VII: The Interrogation)
There was a brief silence while Louis XVIII, in handwriting that he made as tiny as possible, wrote a new note in the margin of his Horace; then, when the note was written, he looked up with the satisfied air of a man who thinks he has made a discovery when he has commented on someone else’s idea.(Chapter X: The Little Cabinet in the Tuileries)
“I don’t like brunettes who sing blonde.” (Chapter XXXIV: An Apparition)
On his chest, to the right, he wore the medal of a Grand Officer of the Order of the Saviour and, to the left, that of the Great Cross of Charles III, demonstrating that the person represented in the portrait must have fought in the Spanish and Greek Wars, or else (this being identical as far as medals were concerned) have carried out some diplomatic mission in those two countries. (Chapter XLI: The Introduction)
The count was standing, inspecting some copies of Albano and Fattore which had been passed off on the banker as originals and which, copies though they were, clashed with the beading in every shade of gold decorating the ceiling. (Chapter XLVI: Unlimited Credit)
“What entitles him to the peerage?”
“He’s written two or three comic operas, fought four or five lawsuits against Le Siècle and voted five or six times for the government.” (Chapter LXX: The Ball)
When he arrived, the editor was holding a copy of his own paper and apparently admiring a leader on sugar beet, probably of his own composition. (Chapter LXXXVI: Judgement Is Passed)
Needless to say, the rooms were resplendent with candles and light poured from the gilt mouldings on to the silk hangings; and all the bad taste of furnishings which expressed nothing but wealth shone out in its full glory. (Chapter XCVI: The Marriage Contract)
The year in movies
Ezekiel Kweku, The New York Times
Ten neo-noir movies I saw for the first time in this year, ranked and accompanied by a verse from one of the major prophets
10. Kill Me Again (Dahl, 1989)
Jeremiah 8:6
“I have paid attention and listened, but they have not spoken rightly; no man relents of his evil, saying, ‘What have I done? Everyone turns to his own course, like a horse plunging headlong into battle.”
9. Against All Odds (Hackford, 1984)
Isaiah 30:1
“Ah, stubborn children,” declares the Lord, “who carry out a plan, but not mine, and who make an alliance, but not of my Spirit, that they may add sin to sin”
8. Highest 2 Lowest (Lee, 2025)
Isaiah 48:8
“You have never heard, you have never known, from of old your ear has not been opened. For I knew that you would surely deal treacherously, and that from before birth you were called a rebel.”
7. Islands (Gerster, 2025)
Jeremiah 14:10a
This is what the Lord says about this people: “They greatly love to wander; they do not restrain their feet.”
6. Jade (Friedkin, 1995)
Jeremiah 17:9 ESV
The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?
5. Eileen (Oldroyd, 2023)
Ezekiel 18:2-3
“What do you mean by repeating this proverb concerning the land of Israel, ‘The fathers have eaten sour grapes, and the children’s teeth are set on edge’? As I live, declares the Lord God, this proverb shall no more be used by you in Israel.”
4. A Different Man (Schimberg, 2024)
Daniel 4:5
I saw a dream that made me afraid. As I lay in bed the fancies and the visions of my head alarmed me.
3. Beasts Clawing at Straws (Kim, 2020)
Isaiah 30:1
“Ah, stubborn children,” declares the Lord, “who carry out a plan, but not mine, and who make an alliance, but not of my Spirit, that they may add sin to sin”
2. Klute (Pakula, 1971)
Jeremiah 2:35
“You say, ‘I am innocent; surely his anger has turned from me.’ Behold, I will bring you to judgment for saying, ‘I have not sinned.’”
1. It Was Just An Accident (Panahi, 2025)
Lamentations 3:37-39
To crush underfoot all the prisoners of the earth, to deny a man justice in the presence of the Most High, to subvert a man in his lawsuit, the Lord does not approve.
Owen Myers, culture writer
Fav films I watched this year that are not from this year
Ticket of No Return (Urikke Ottinger, 1980). The style of this movie, in every sense, feels beyond anything anyone has come up with before or since.
The Lovers on the Bridge (Leos Carax, 1991). Fireworks!!
Sliver (Phillip Noyce, 1993). Maybe the best Sharon Stone has ever been, definitely the coolest.
The Annihilation of Fish (Charles Burnett, 1999). Saw this strange and funny love story with my boyfriend at BAM on Valentine’s Day and had no idea that it would be quite so perfect.
Gattaca (Andrew Niccol, 1997). I miss when movies pulled off this level of silliness with such class.
Daniel Lavery, The Chatner
The five best movies (in my personal opinion) that I have screened at my new day job this year
I am the assistant activities coordinator at an assisted senior living complex and they let me pick the movies because my boss has bigger fish to fry now that she has an assistant. We play a movie a day; sometimes twice a day, because not everybody wants to watch a movie after dinner. So if anybody asks we will also play the movie at 1:45 p.m. Or 2 p.m., depending. Recently I found out I have to make popcorn every day, even twice a day, which is pretty tough because the machine is a real bear to clean. The palm oil coats everything. But it smells terrific.
Hester Street (Carol Kane has a face that was made for the 1890s)
The Conversation (it was very sad when Gene Hackman died but we watched a lot of great movies that week, so swings and roundabouts)
Another Round (I try not to screen too many “old movies” so it was really cool to get to see something recent. I also try not to screen many subtitled films because that can get dicey for everyone to follow, but this was a great exception)
Witness (What a picture!)
Fire of Love (screened before I found out I’m not supposed to pick documentaries for the evening movie. My bad but it’s as good as everyone says it is)
becca rothfeld, The Washington Post
The best horror movies I watched, or maybe re-watched, during my annual (and always failed) attempt to watch a horror movie every day in October, inconsistently annotated, and roughly in order of how much I like them
Images (1972)
Theatre of Blood (1973)--a camp masterpiece and must-watch for critics, featuring the inimitable Vincent Price as a failed actor on a murderous rampage targeting critics who have given him negative reviews
Kwaidan (1964)
Lair of the White Worm (1988)
Red Rooms (2023), which pairs well with
Opera (1987)
Daughters of Darkness (1971)
Picnic at Hanging Rock (1975)
Messiah of Evil (1974)
Black Sunday (1960)
Samer Kalaf, Defector
The Worst Movies I Watched In 2025
Max typically gives his readers thoughtful recommendations on what to watch, but I’m here to spread negativity. As of this writing, I have seen 95 movies this year: a mix of new releases, rewatches, and classics that I finally got around to viewing. In no particular order, these were the real stinkers, along with a few justifications for why I watched them in the first place:
Flight Risk
A rare case in which the offering on the HBO Max home screen captured my attention. I didn’t expect this to be good, but it seemed realistic to hope for an entertaining 90-minute action flick. Wrong. This isn’t even bad in a fun way. The three main characters, who for most of the runtime are together in the same little plane, have the wit and situational awareness of Far Cry NPCs. Not until the end credits do you learn that Mel Gibson directed this, and by then I felt like the victim of a phishing scam.
Warfare
Totally pointless. The whole thing felt like a government-funded program that aims to create a space for British actors to work on their American accents.
Y2K
The funniest character was killed within the first half hour. That should’ve been the sign to turn it off.
Mortal Kombat (2021)
According to my records, I watched this remake on a Friday in February, so either it was too cold to go anywhere or I had no plans, like a big loser. My one memory from this experience was that this movie had noticeably bad editing, like near the level of a local commercial.
Old School
Revisited this one among a few other aughts-era comedies. Napoleon Dynamite: still pretty funny. Blades of Glory: not worth it. The only good scene in here is when Will Ferrell takes a tranq dart to the neck. The rest is radioactively bad.
Zero Dark Thirty
An invigorating experience, because I didn’t think I could find a movie this repugnant. Yeah, yeah, depiction is not endorsement, but this film presents in great detail the torture at a CIA black site, then has it lead to a piece of information that eventually results in the mission that killed Osama bin Laden. This is supposed to be taken as one part of a complex message, because Jessica Chastain’s character is sad at the end. Total shoot-and-cry bullshit. There’s a critical distinction between “We made a mistake” and “Mistakes were made.” Months after I watched this film, director Kathryn Bigelow said that The Battle of Algiers was “probably my favorite movie of all time.” If only someone in the Criterion Closet had asked her what she thought it was about.
The Fantastic 4: First Steps
This one actually wasn’t that bad, but it was definitely my worst theater experience of the year. With 30 minutes left, I noticed something darting around near the aisle lights; I effectively got confirmation that it was a mouse when the people in the row behind me put their feet up on the seats. If you’re a paying subscriber to Read Max, he’ll let you know which Brooklyn movie theater it was.
The year in eBay
Matthew Schnipper, Deep Voices
Top five things I bought on eBay
5. Henry Rollins Speaks Promo Poster 1993 Calendar Band Black Flag Spoken Word Rare
4. SF EXPERIMENTAL ARTIST Christo Javacheff at work MIAMI 1983 Press LaserPhoto
3. TERRORISTS - Mass Market Paperback By Maj Sjowall - ACCEPTABLE
2. 3 Project X Magazines Alig Moby Keoki Josh Wink DJs Club Kids NYC Rave Techno
1. Vintage LL Bean Striped Oxford Shirt USA Size 16 1/2 33 /Large
Dan Nosowitz, Read Max gadget correspondent
My best eBay searches
I spent a huge amount of time searching for stuff on eBay this year (and every other year of my life), partly because most of the stuff I like can only be found there and partly because eBay’s search functionality is roughly as effective as screaming your query out your front door and hoping someone screams back. Here are some of my favorites from my eBay search history in 2025.
“live mangosteen seedling”
Related Google query: “can you ship live plants from Malaysia to California”
Update: confiscated by USDA, fully refunded
“zune usb cable”
Related Google query: “how to sync Zune with Mac 2025”
Extensive research on r/Zune (surprisingly active!)
Related group chat query: “do you guys still have mp3s?”
Update: only sort of possible, spent an entire day trying to do this instead of working
“velcro sneakers men NOT orthopedic”
Favorite result turned out to be the ones issued to prison inmates
Related group chat query: “is this stolen valor/otherwise problematic”
Various fun patterned duvet covers for king-sized bed (rainforest, coral reef, frogs)
Update: these are generally not made for king-sized beds, which is the only bed size exclusively for adults
This was for the best
“vintage clarks brown loafers”
Update: sole split completely in half on second wear
Related Google query: “cheap cobblers near me”
Followup eBay query: “diy shoe repair glue”
Update: glue got everywhere
Update: shoes in garbage
The year in parenting
Julieanne Smolinski, The Minimizer
The 10 Best Questions My Five-Year-Old Had for Me About the Philadelphia Phillies’ Mascot, The “Philly Phanatic”
10. is it an animal or a person
9. what does it eat
8. does it hunt its food
7. does it have a penis
6-4. [various re-phrasings of question #7]
3. who would win in a fight between the philly phanatic and a human man
2. does it know who Jesus is
1. what is it
Dayna Tortorici, N+1
Best Mickey Mouse Clubhouse Episodes I’ve Seen More Than Ten Times
Earlier this year my 2-year-old daughter came home from daycare completely obsessed with Mickey Mouse. She had been exposed to Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (hereafter: M.M.C.H.), a computer-animated show that ran on Disney Jr. from 2006 to 2016, and she was talking about Mickey, Minnie, Daisy, Donald, and Goofy like they were her close personal friends. Because the show was never mean or violent, and because it taught her to be good at counting, problem-solving, and saying cute phrases like “sure can!” “oh boy oh boy!” and “what’s the big idea?” I decided to let her watch it at home. There was a newer version of the show, from 2023, but I preferred the old one with the bad CGI. The way the characters ran at a walking pace, so that their legs made huge strides without really propelling them forward, reminded me of that Harun Farocki Parallel series where he has video game characters run full-tilt at the invisible boundaries of the game world. Anyway, I have now seen every episode of M.M.C.H. at least once. These are the best episodes I have seen at least 10 times.
(But first, readers should know the basic format of M.M.C.H. Mickey is the ringleader of his clubhouse, a kind of high-postmodern / Duck architecture compound in the shape of Mickey components (e.g. Shoe Garage, Glove Balloon). It is a technological marvel tended to by Professor Von Drake, who is Scrooge McDuck with a German accent. One of the friends has a problem; Mickey goes to the “Mouse-ke-doer” (a big computer) to get “Mouse-ke-tools” (a menu of three tools that will come in handy to solve the problem, plus one “mystery mouseketool”); and a floating computer companion named Toodles (idk) provides these tools to Mickey et al once they are out in the field solving probs. All they have to do is call “Oh Toooooo-dles!” and Toodles, a flying screen in the shape of a Mickey Mouse head, shows up. (For a while C would say things like: “We need to wake daddy up. Maybe a mousketool will help us. ‘Oh Toooooooodles!!’“ This was cute because she is 2.) The friends always solve the mystery and at the end of each ep do a dance called the Hot Dog Dance. The soundtrack is by the band They Might Be Giants.)
“Show Your Special Talent Day”
Something I love about M.M.C.H. is that the friends are always preparing for big events--a Flower Show, a Talent Show, a Bow Show, a Pet Contest--with enormous production values and incredibly high stakes, which they perform for an audience of three to ten characters max. I can’t put my finger on what this dynamic evokes. A court society? COVID-19? Because much of the scutwork is provided by robot hands that emerge from trap doors in the clubhouse (”Handy Helpers”), it also suggests fully automated luxury communism. This is a classic talent show episode where a small duck, who Donald names Donald Jr., must learn a dance.
“Daisy’s Ponytail”
Goofy spills Professor von Drake’s fitzer-spritzer potion on Daisy’s ponytail while she’s playing dress-up so her ponytail grows really long. The friends must retrieve a dozen petals from the Rapunzel flower to make an antidote, furnishing an excellent opportunity to count to 12. Features the catchy song, “How Shall I Wear My Hair?”
“Minnie-rella”
A fascinating exercise in recycling one’s own I.P. How will they handle the abuse and happily-ever-after of it, seeing as romance and bullying are verboten? The answer is that the friends ask Minnie to do their chores to keep her distracted so they can throw her a surprise party, and Prince Mickey at the ball is just Minnie’s best friend. Here, too, there are about five people at the ball, including Mickey and Minnierella, which bothers no one.
“Goofy Baby / Goofy Babysitter”
Nothing is more compelling to a baby than seeing her favorite characters as babies themselves. In these twin episodes, the friends stumble into the professor’s Tick Tock Time Machine and turn into babies for the day. Pretty much what you’d expect.
“Minnie’s Winter Bow Show”
M.M.C.H.’s answer to Christmas content, this pagan celebration is dedicated to a fashion show displaying Minnie’s seasonal bow collection. Plans are scuttled by Minnie’s nieces Millie and Melody, who Minnie forgot she was supposed to play with that day; the twins knock over the tree and fly away in the glove balloon in shame, and Minnie must retrieve them. Obviously I had to know: Who is Minnie’s sister?! Some say her name is Mandie Mouse [citation needed]. There are legit three good songs in this episode. It will forever be my favorite because after a long journey involving a train, a car, and a ferry, C watched it completely rapt without fussing, allowing me to fully mount a curtain rod that had fallen to the ground without incident. C likes to hold hands at the table and sing “Snowflake, snowflake, sparkle and glow, my winter wish is for snow” like it’s UU grace. 10/10.
Casey Johnston, She’s a Beast
Toys my 1-year old son loves, that are not his toys, that I cannot technically recommend you buy for your own baby
The dog’s Kong
The cat’s tower of tracks with the ping pong balls that go around in circles
The dog’s Kong-brand “wild knots” stuffed animal
The cat’s cat-dancer wand
These spring things that roll across the floor funny
Amanda Hess, author of Second Life
My son’s top five bootlicking quotes after I explained to him that, while Rubble builds things and Marshall puts out fires, Chase “really doesn’t do anything except trap people” and “he sucks”
“I love Chase”
“He’s like guarding everyone to get out of the way when there’s danger. That’s what cops do that’s good”
“Chase is on the case.”
“Chase isn’t just a cop he’s also a super spy”
“Hey Mommy. Na na na noo noo. Chase.”
The year in health and wellness
Allison McCann, The New York Times
The best water I submerged myself in this year
Maybe it’s because of a loose connection to some Scandinavian heritage on my mom’s side, but I’ve become convinced that the secret to longevity and good health lies in more regularly putting my whole ass body in water. These were the best swims, soaks, schvitzes, etc. I had this year, in no particular order:
NYC Public Pools, adult lap swim: I was already a huge public pool stan but this summer they brought back adult lap swim and it was incredible. Unfortunately there was only one pool in each borough that participated (here’s to more pools in 2026!) but I was lucky to have one nearby. The pool opens at 7am and is reliably freezing; there is truly no better way to start a sweaty August day
Russian & Turkish Baths: We moved around the corner from this place last year and I committed to going as often as I could. It’s equal parts disgusting and perfect; a day pass is typically $60 but if you go on New Year’s day you can buy an annual pass at a steep discount (Boris weeks only) and it shakes out to like $20 a sesh
Tiktok ice facial trend: This did nothing for my skin but was surprisingly refreshing, a good way to wake up after a night out
Kove Studio: This place bills itself as a “recovery studio” with saunas, red light therapies and other wellness traps; I love it for the $10 cold plunge drop in, no reservation necessary. (The East Village location is “temporarily shut” and I refuse to find out why.)
14th Street Y, women-only lap swim: On Tuesdays and Thursdays at lunch time the pool is only open to women — intended for the religiously devout — and it’s absolutely the best time to swim laps, no aggro men in my lanes
Lindsey Weber’s annual birthday plunge, Rockaway Beach: Always a delight, a true kickoff to summer even though it’s April
“Indigo” adults-only pool at the Ojai Valley Inn: My brother got married in Ojai in June (at a diff hotel) but my family spent one night here and for two blissful hours my sister watched our kids while we drank margaritas at the adults-only pool
Nordic Wave cold plunge, my sister’s backyard in L.A.: Still thinking about whether or not I can fit one of these fancy cold plunge trash cans in my apartment somehow
BONUS: Water I’m eyeing in 2026!
Lore: A new “neighborhood bathing club” opening this month in NoHo that will undoubtedly cost as much as an entire year of bathing at the Russian baths
Big Towel Spa: Already plotting to leave my kids with my in-laws in New Paltz to hit this place in the Hudson Valley — wood-fired saunas and outdoor cold plunges with mountain views!
Kevin Roose, “Hard Fork”
Top 10 sparkling waters
Spindrift Island Punch
Bubly Coconut Pineapple
LaCroix Cerise Limón
LaCroix Beach Plum
Waterloo Summer Berry
Hal’s Black Cherry
Spindrift Nojito
Aura Bora Strawberry Basil
Topo Chico (unflavored)
Sanzo Lychee
Sami Reiss, SNAKE and SNAKE SUPER HEALTH
Top 7 calisthenics parks in Paris
I live in Paris a couple months of the year for work and when I’m there I just read and write and work out all the time. It’s amazing. The past few years I’ve only been doing calisthenics: pull-ups, and such, in city parks, of which Paris has many. It’s a great way to break a sweat. It’s free, can be done outside, and can be pushed much more safely to the edge--failure--than weighted workouts, because when you can’t do a rep you just stop. There’s also an aesthetic appeal: what it does, sure, but where the parks are. Below are my Top 7 calisthenics parks in Paris:
Jardin des Voltiges (20th). My favorite of the bunch, in the northeast edge of Paris, in the La Villette park; was designed by calisthenics athletes. Which means lots of bars, a couple stations for rings, nice tall dip bars, plenty of angled bars. There are always people here. Dozens. And to get to it you need to walk on the water. Beautiful. The closest restaurant nearby is Belushi’s—one of two in the city.
Square de la Roquette (11th)—I like this one, it’s in a small park in the 11th, and to get to the bars you have to walk through a short serpentine trail. They’re a simple set-up: only a couple of bars, a monkey bar, a Swedish ladder with some dip bars attached, all a few feet away from one of those enclosed soccer cages, like they have in Nike ads. The catch here is the park itself, which is an idyll: just kids running around everywhere, going apeshit, with absolutely no parental supervision—maybe one or two community center coaches/young adults. Feels like how I grew up? Can’t really work out here, though, since the kids are always horsing around on the bars.
Bercy Street Workout (12th)—Said to be the top park in Paris, and who can argue? It might be the best park in the world. If only for the caliber of the athletes and the breadth and depth of equipment: they have barbells here and a ton of bars, monkey bars, cages. It’s always a scene. By the big bus station, not far off from the bakery, if I remember right, in the Maigret book Reluctant Witness (about a family who won’t speak). You might recognize it from photography by Marine Peixoto, or Hilton Als (it was on his IG recently)—but it’s not intimidating and there is always a place to work out. It’s inspiring: hard to watch people move here without wanting to get in on it yourself.
Parc de Valmy (10th)—this is mine, it’s a simple park on the canal in the 10th. I worked out here every day when I lived there, and when I return (my place is just down the block). Sometimes long sessions, sometimes short, and what’s nice is the whole bitch is canopied by a bunch of very tall plane trees, and on the water, so it’s a bit cooler than the rest of the parks. It’s not a wild park, but it’s quiet, and once or twice a week you’ll see someone do something super stupendous. What can I say? It’s home.
Square Aristide Cavaillé-Coll (10th)—Tiny, near the Popeye’s by the main train station. Not really a park; pretty light, just two bars, with a decent view of Montmartre, mostly people hanging out, eating Popeye’s, admiring the view. It’s right at a traffic circle that’s like five roads (Petits Hotels, La Fayette, Abbeville, Hauteville). It’s not usually full and is barely a park. But a good place to spend time in.
Richard Lenoir Greenbelt parc (11th)— above the dried-up part of the Canal St. Martin, across the street from this Toyota dealership that’s in an apartment building. Beautiful burgundy bars… feels like the Hermès store. Really strong people here. The equipment is on sand, and is abutted by a pedestrian walkway, so you always get people stopping and peering over. What are they doing here? Feels like the closest park to New York, probably because of the burgundy, and how busy it always is.
The best one is on île des Cygnes (swan island), in the 15th, right near the richest part of town. It’s this tiny little island between the 16th/Auteil, where the rugby stadium is (and where Le Corbusier lived) and the 15th—Eiffel Tower. It is surrounded by water and has a rock climbing wall. Only pick not on the east side.
Taylor Lorenz, User Mag
Top 5 masks to stay healthy this holiday season!!
1. 3M Aura. This one is big and white and kind of ugly but it’s BY FAR the most comfortable mask ever. I’ve worn it on 13 hour flights. It’s soft, breathable and just an all around great mask that fits nearly every face. It’s the safest option for crowded unventilated spaces like airplanes, etc. The rubber elastic strap version is available on Amazon (only buy from the official 3M story on Amazon, the rest are fakes), or the soft braided strap version is available on Maxwell Products. If you really hate the white color you can buy clip on covers on Etsy, the good ones don’t affect the filtration!
2. Laianzhi KN100 Mask. These are basically black versions of the 3M Aura. They come in multiple sizes and have a comfortable foam nose strap. The only issue is that they ship from China, so the tariffs basically triple the price of the masks. If you’re looking for a similar black head strap mask with N95 level filtration there are a slew of other options listed on this website that people love. (PSA many of them say non medical simply because they’re not NIOSH certified, but rest assured they have been tested relentlessly by advocates and reviewers).
3. Well Before KN95 3D Face Mask. Ear loop masks will never be as effective as head strap N95s because they don’t have as tight a seal, but these Well Before KN95s are great. They’re what I wear every day out and about in low/medium risk situations. They’re comfortable, have adjustable ear loops, and come in every color under the sun. They’re the best go-to everyday mask.
4. ReadiMask Strapless N95 Mask. If you get head pain from mask straps, these are stick-on N95s. They will stay stuck to your face all day and are surprisingly breathable. They’re great for medical procedures because they don’t have a metal nose wire. Sadly they only come in bright yellow.
5. Free mask bloc masks. If you can’t afford masks, find your closest local mask bloc and you can get them for free! They often have free kids N95 masks available too.
Elena Saavedra Buckley, The New York Times Magazine
Best moments of kitchen genius
Because my boyfriend and I moved in together this year, my pasión for cooking grew even larger and my skills transformed thanks to more regularly pleasing a palette and eye that was not my own. Here are the specific and consistent things I did with food this year that slapped!
Got a Zojirushi
My brother bought us a Zojirushi rice cooker, and while it takes up precious shelf space in our kitchen, it is so expert at making ancient grains passively while I do other stuff that I’ve gained a new appreciation for both the grains and unitaskers.
Wedge salad “on repeat”
Over the summer I realized that a wedge salad could be customized with (a small cast of) other vegetables, and that it could be a filling, satisfying meal without being heavy. Relatedly, I discovered that if I buy a big package of bacon, I could store it in the freezer by laying out individual slices on parchment paper and rolling it up, making it easy to take out individual slices. Changed my previously-hostile sense of bacon and my relationship to it.
Discovered the pleasures of regular horseradish
I believe fresh horseradish deserves a spot in the kitchen alongside garlic and ginger—it’s good microplane’d into salads, on meats, potatoes, everything. You will be surprised at the fact that you’ve been walking right by it in the grocery store this entire time. And because it looks like a dinosaur penis, the people working the store registers will laugh at you while they’re trying to figure out the produce code.
Started braising cheap, cubed stew meat in store-bought green salsa, therefore making delicious taco-ready meat available without having to roast and blend tomatillos
Self explanatory!
Started reliably putting banana peppers and basil on slice joint pizza
Self explanatory!
Embraced OMAD
My boyfriend introduced me to the concept of One Meal A Day living, in which we make a really decadent meal and eat a lot of it. We did that with gigantic breakfast burritos and various pastas this year. It feels both indulgent and responsible at the same time. Paula Deen-energy.
A particular elegant salad
In September I raided the Willow Wisp farm stand at the farmers market and made one of the most elegant little salads: castelfranco radicchio, purple radish, cucumber, poached shrimp, and a Britton shiso vinaigrette, made from chopped up shiso leaf, garlic, shallot, lemon, rice vinegar, soy sauce, sugar, salt, and olive oil. Good reminder that summer produce is the nepo baby of produce (beautiful, expensive, well tended to, low effort, you can put it anywhere and it will somehow succeed without trying).
Bought serving ware at an estate sale, especially useful for inspiring dinner party app/snack creative thinking
Having interesting, mismatched bowls and platters has expanded my concept of what would be fun to serve on the coffee table while dinner party guests are waiting for the food to be ready. Long crackers, weird pickles, artisanal jams: everything looks good in a bowl recently purchased from a dead woman.
Made sticky rice and mango rice pudding on Mars
More on this later/soon if you read my writing, but I spent two weeks at an isolated Mars simulator this year where all the food was dehydrated. One night I made coconut rice pudding with rehydrated mango and cashews, and my crewmates didn’t know what hit them.
Miso soup and kimchi-jjigae as produce-discard meals
You can put a lot of stuff in miso soup and kimchi jjigae, they are endlessly pleasing and pungent meals into which vegetables improve and disappear. Also, you can get dashi packets from Dashi Okume that elevate both dishes and bring Helvetica branding into the home.
Got a mortar and pestle
Self explanatory!
Leaned into the power of salad dressings
If you begin to think expansively about salad dressings, you’ll start planning entire dinner party menus around them, as happened with a recent slate of food vis-à-vis a dressing made with reduced apple cider, guanciale fat, various acids, and two kinds of mustard (inspo’d by Ben Lippett). Dressings can include blended up vegetables or fruits, like the carrot-ginger dressings found in Japanese restaurants. They can be built from the residue oil from roasted vegetables. They can include ingredients like saffron. I wrote a Substack post about this... never underestimate the use of building a theory around a medium that’s impactful and ubiquitous but otherwise underrated.
The year in sports and gaming
Amos Barshad, Columbia Journalism Review
Top Five Angeballs of 2025
These are scary times for freedom of speech and by that I mean there are dangerously few places for me to express support for former Tottenham Hotspur manager Ange Postecoglou. Thank you to Read Max for publishing this and therefore being on the right side of history.
This is from the first ten games of Ange’s run I’m pretty sure. The vibes were good. The vibes were so good.
Look at this shit. Dudes just screaming. Dejan Kulusevski banging one. Take me back!!!
The whole thing is lovely but that little James Maddison shift is supreme. It’s nice walking down memory lane.
It’s cool to be an adult professional named Mikey. This one is named Mikey Moore. He’s still only a teenager so he might just become a Mike one day but I certainly hope not.
Europa League final. Brennan Johnson MATCH WINNER. You legally have to refer to this goal as “scrappy.” It’s not very good. I love it. One day I’ll go to Bilbao and pay homage. I assume there will be a statue.
Mark Slutsky, Something Good
The Top 5 Video Games From 2025 That I Do Not Regret Playing and That You May Not Have Heard of
Consume Me
I guess the most straightforward way to describe Consume Me, created by Jenny Jiao Hsia and A.P. Thompson, is as a life sim about disordered eating and the agonies of teenage life, but that sells short the exuberance and inventiveness of this small miracle of a game. You basically speedrun through the calendar of a teenage girl as she balances dieting, exercise, a social life, keeping her mom happy, and generally trying to keep all of these competing pressures from blowing up her life. The game has this crazy energy and a bright, colourful UI that just pulls you in from the title screen. It’s so impressive how it brilliantly exploits the choice-based economy of its design, progression and clever mini-games to express its story. Consume Me is funny, exhilarating and deeply serious at the same time and its fusion of storytelling and game mechanics gives me hope!
Time Flies
The only game I’ve played so far this year to open by citing a U.N. study on life expectancy. You play a fly. When the game begins, you’re asked for your location, and the life of your fly is determined, in seconds, by your country’s average lifespan (81 seconds for 81 years, etc). You then live that life, flying around a house and trying to do something meaningful with your dwindling moments. Full of delightful little discoveries (including some ways to prolong your little life), this reminds me of Consume Me in how it uses “fun” as a tool to trick you into reflecting on something heavy.
Unfair Flips
OK… this wasn’t intended to be a list of fun things that make you think about serious things, but: let’s go. Unfair Flips, created by developer Heather Flowers, is a game that teaches you about probability, a concept that everyone is really bad at thinking about, by making you flip “the world’s worst coin” over and over again until you get 10 heads in a row. The coin is initially unbalanced, with only a 20% chance of hitting heads, but you can upgrade it with the money you make by flipping a heads. The game is very transparent about your chances, and even offers a running commentary as you play, but despite there being absolutely no other tricks under the hood, you’ll find yourself indulging in every kind of superstition as you try to hit that elusive 10 in a row. I’ve gotten five tails in a row… I must be due for a heads… maybe if I hit the flip button faster I’ll get lucky… You know there’s no such thing as luck, but your brain keeps constructing this narrative around it, and eventually you start to understand, just a little, how insane we all are and how nobody is able to think about the future with any sense of rationality or proportion.
Baby Steps
Bennett Foddy is sort of a star indie game designer who often specializes in games about the awkwardness of human movement (Go play QWOP in your browser if you want to see what I mean). His latest is basically an oaf simulator. You play a failson named Nate who finds himself teleported to an open world, and to traverse it you must take one step at a time, with each leg independently controlled by the triggers on your gamepad. It is comically, infuriatingly hard to take even a couple of steps without landing Nate on his ass. I would have put Death Stranding 2 here if it were a regular Game of the Year list, but here is the mirror world version. And yeah, sure, I guess it will make you think about, like, how annoying it is to have a body that needs to be moved around the world. (But that’s not why I put it here and I promise I will stop trying to derive deeper meaning from these games.)
Strange Jigsaws
This is a bunch of weird-ass jigsaw puzzles that could only exist in virtual form, from developer FLEB (who also made the similar 20 Small Mazes). It’s so filled with good ideas, of jokes in the form of puzzles and puzzles in the form of jokes. And while it may prompt you to reflect deeply on something, I promised you I would stop with all that. It’s like $5, so don’t think too hard and just go get it.
Brian Feldman, BNet
Top 5 Baby Steps set pieces where I said “oh fuck off” but I was also laughing at the same time
The second-most emotionally fulfilling thing I did this year was complete the video game Baby Steps, and now I don’t think I’m able to get mad at anything anymore.
5. Getting almost to the top of a big slope, where the game triggers an “Indiana Jones”-type boulder scenario
4. Using a giant water wheel as a platform
3. Giant plastic-shovel bridge
2. The Manbreaker
1. Going up a down escalator
Fran Hoepfner, Fran Magazine
My top ten Balatro jokers
2025 was the first full calendar year I played Balatro, a computer/phone game that’s sort of like if poker was also a deck builder where you use jokers to power up your hands. I downloaded it late last November after being told it’s “the single most addictive game ever” and “probably really evil,” and undoubtedly it has completely thrown off my ability to do things like read on the train or write in the morning. Still: I love it. Here are my top ten jokers.
10. Jolly Joker -- the equivalent of having a glass of water by your bedside table. Is it going to save your life/build? No, but he’s never bad to have around, especially in early rounds.
9. Gros Michel -- I’m just now getting to the point where I’m confident enough not to take him, but let’s face it: this is the canonical joker of the game.
8. Supernova -- a great, reliable, and frankly elegant-looking card
7. Vagabond -- how I feel when I have Vagabond.
6. Hiker -- I like that he gives you bonus chips but when you sell him, the chips stay. No hard feelings to the hiker but I love selling him once his job is through.
5. Joker Stencil -- I’ve won runs with only this guy in my arsenal.
4. Space Joker -- controversial (MAYBE) because he’s so chance-driven, but I think some runs can really be blessed by his ability to upgrade hands without spending money.
3. Spare Trousers -- probably the most reliable, chic joker. If you get him in the early game you’re almost certainly going to go far, if not win.
2. Certificate -- this is a crazy #2, as he does not improve your chips or multiplier, but just adds cards to your deck (essential when playing with the number one joker here). He is an essential tool for a full house build and I’m sort of just soothed by the sound of the card’s effects.
1. Hologram -- I love winding up with a deck of 90-something cards and having this guy go crazy.
The year in fashion, beauty, and home
Leah Beckmann, boy mama
Top Six Items I Received After My House Burned Down Meaning These Were Briefly the Only Things I Owned
These flesh-colored stiletto boots
A Miami Dolphins crop top with front tie
Abundantly sexy leopard underpants for getting my period in
An assortment of Kylie lip kits I was told came from “Kylie herself.” They came in this case.
A matching tweed set with pearl buttons
A paisley t-shirt reading, “Mauna-kea.”
Emily Sundberg, Feed Me
Ten placebos I couldn’t have lived without this year
Pure Tranquility Liquid: Don’t ask me what GABA is. Please just understand that when I take four droppers of this under my tongue, it is akin to half a Xanax. It tastes like the green Jolly Ranchers.
Green Blood green juice from Overgreens, otherwise known in my house as Fake Sweetgreen. I haven’t been sick all winter.
Compression socks on the plane.
Green tea as a caffeine source.
1mg Melatonin Pura pills from Greece: Something about the illustration of a screaming moon on these really does it for me.
Gua Sha. 2026 will be the year I start investing in lasers. Until then, it’s me and my jade roller.
Lymphatic drainage massages leading up to my wedding and dry brushing. This cost me nothing but money, time, and a tremendous amount of faith.
Cold plunges. I will believe that the high-interval training this does on my capillaries burns hundreds of calories until the day I die.
Eye cream.
My red light mask.
Molly Young, The Life and Errors of Molly Young
10 best cosmetic procedures I invested in
Laser-assisted nipple resurfacing
Persian Rib Tuck
Endoscopic FUPA contouring
Gullet lift
BBBBL (same as a BBL but w/ option to add third butt cheek)
Bunion rejuvenation
PRP for hair loss (knuckles only)
Scalp feminization with exosomes
Fist implant
Lobotomy (revision)
Zinzi Edmundson, Treehouse
Best Christmas episodes of Martha Stewart Living
Are you the same sort of stubborn person that I am, wherein something of yours becomes a cultural focal point--this year’s was the em-dash, paper chains, and Martha Stewart--and rather than doing the technically-cool thing and distancing yourself, you double down with unbridled intensity?
Well, this is why, when asked to create a year-end list for this venerable publication, I chose to watch all of the Christmas episodes of Martha Stewart Living, and to rank my top five. You know, “for Max.”
What is my method? We’re seeking only just the greatest, densest expression of the form: We’re looking for projects that are technically possible, but fussy beyond belief; We’re looking for fullest-bloom Martha in focused competition and/or giddy delight; We’re looking for odd moments that are just, basically, sort of unhinged. It’s that feeling when you bite into a perfectly ripe fruit and you think, “OK, there it is.”
This episode kicks off with a visit from Food Editor Susan Spungen, who shows Martha how to create a zuccotta, an Italian dome-shaped dessert where you sculpt your sponge into a dome, fill it with dessert cheeses and other things, chill it, and then attempt to decant it. Despite the fact that they both constantly iterate how easy it is, Martha makes reference to Brunelleschi, presumably because to create one is a technical and physical feat rivaling Florence’s Duomo.
Then! Then! Lenore Welby, MSL staffer, joins Martha to demonstrate the art of quillwork, or paper filigree, a craft mentioned in Sense and Sensibility, which creates intricate spiralized-paper decorations. At this point, I’m soaring. Essentially, you purchase these long strips of paper and, using either hat pin or a quill pen designed for the task, tightly twist the strips into intricate spirals. Using tweezers, you can assemble them into Christmas ornaments.
Things really couldn’t get any better, and then we discover this is a double Good Things episode. First: We’re back to endlessly manipulating paper, as Martha makes a folded paper tree skirt, which is, frankly, stunning. (She’ll show YOU who can fold paper, OK?) Second, she makes bobeches, which are tiny wreathes you put around the base of a candle both to be pretty and to prevent wax from getting all over the table. The threat of fire safety seems to be of trivial concern here.
Heads know, it’s all about the Gingerbread Mansion (originally in Martha’s Christmas book) and this is the episode where she makes one. Martha starts by consulting A Field Guild to American Houses--an excellent book, btw--and selects a Georgian mansion as her inspiration. Not only is it enormous, has real caramelized sugar windows, and lights up from inside, but the roof is covered in copper leafing before icing. (Not edible, of course.) This is also the first time Martha introduces a conceit that recurs often in these Christmas episodes: contracting the help of adorable, yet visually terrified children. I love everything about this.
Additionally, there’s a project for stamped wrapping paper and different ways to decorate a gift. Heads might also, as I do, hold a special torch for Season 1--it’s a little more rough-hewn than the ones that follow. Earlier in the fall, there’s an entire segment about rakes, for instance, and, generally, a certain cost awareness that fades into rare collectibles and sterling silver-laced ribbons (yes!) later on. Also there is generally a pet in the foreground, sometimes blocking a crucial moment in a project.
Here comes a Good Thing! It’s sugared fruits, which incidentally seem to be getting some contemporary internet shine this year, as well. A step-by-step, followed by signature radiant, pleased-with-herself smile.
Lastly, Martha prepares her annual cookie tree. Every year, she’ll make hundreds of cookies—carefully poking a hole at the top after baking, then stringing them up with special ribbon—to cover her Christmas tree for an annual open house. After all her guests have taken the cookies, she puts up her ornaments before the actual day. However, before the cookies go up, the lights have to. And here’s where the real hard-hitting opinions come in: Martha strings each branch with white twinkle lights. Indeed—every branch is wound around so that there is no visible swag from the wire. What a person! No stone unturned!S8 E155
In the shadow of Y2K anxiety, Martha remains stalwart in her pursuit of Christmas perfection. Suddenly, the episodes are twice as long and packed to their gills.
To begin: A pair of actual reindeer visit Martha’s Manhattan studio set.
After that, Jennifer Melfi/Lorraine Bracco stops in and Martha shows her how to make these bead wreaths. In a rare admission of errata (!!), Martha mentions the previous year’s viral cranberry wreaths were disappointing in that the cranberries end up shriveling. The solution is red beads. The most jaw-dropping part of the entire thing is when Martha and Melfi paint pin heads with Revlon nail polish, so you can’t see the silver against the red beads. At a certain point, Martha describes the process of making these wreaths as “food for the hands,” which is really something.
It would have been enough, but then Martha makes some gumdrop ornaments, an activity presented as being for children, but no children are invited to participate. Then, a visit to see the gumdrops being made at the Nabisco factory in Illinois, which I will call “food for the eyes” in an extremely delightful Mr-Rogers-at-Crayon-factory way.
Can you even believe there’s more? Back in the studio, Martha gets a visit from the then-reigning domino toppler champion (truly, we are rich!), who sets up a 2,000-piece domino track, for tumbling, which takes him 15 hours to do. “Do people think you’re nuts?!” Martha coos, which is surprising because she’s about to create meringue mushrooms with actual visible, textured gills!
If Martha makes visible-gill meringue mushrooms, she’s going to want to make a bouche, the single most tedious dessert of Christmas. And so, she does, but it’s frosted in white, so she’s a Birch du Noël.
As a palate cleanser and by way of goodbye, and because our jaws have already been on the floor for a good 40 minutes, a man who looks like Santa Claus, who Martha discovered in Utah, sings an original tune dressed in the iconic red coat, from behind an iMac, one of life’s great mysteries that we can’t and shouldn’t ever understand.
The children-accessories are back, which is always a treat. This episode opens with Martha trimming the tree with one of them and introducing the fun fact that elephants cry when they’re stressed, the only other animals who do that besides humans. I wonder why this fact? And why this particular moment?
Next, Martha creates fabric covered Christmas ornament balls, which requires, I think, a background in pattern making--you’ll need a French curve--or a deep fluidity with or remembrance of geometry. “It helps if you’ve gone to architecture school,” she says matter-of-factly, before adding with a chuckle, for levity, “for a couple years.”
They really are very pretty.
Next! They build a fence. But, it’s a tiny fence that will circle the base of a Christmas tree, instead of a skirt. For me, this is true catnip: Christmas-related; miniature joinery. I can’t recommend this one segment enough. The entire construction is pretty near brilliant and, I will say, breaking tone a bit here, a real testament to the insane creative talent that buzzed around the MSL hive.
And then the neighbor (?) children are back around the tree to sing a wildly harmonized “Deck The Halls,” while Martha asks them to admire and also smell the garland she’s just hung.
This last one is sort of odd, but I think really charming. It’s a single-subject episode, pretty clearly sponsored by Microsoft, all about how to scan photos and print your own Christmas cards at home. The entire episode is spent with Martha and her tutor sitting at a computer, learning how to use the necessary programs. The best parts are when Martha knows exactly what she wants despite not knowing the software. The whole thing can give you a sort of digital vertigo--and it also makes you yearn for more fastidious handmade projects.
And so with that, I’ll say--get off the Internet and go make yourself some sugared fruits, already!
The year in personal experience
Noreen Malone, The New York Times
The Top 16 Links My Husband Texted Me That I Did Not Open*
https://press.stripe.com/origins-of-efficiency
“Interesting book,” he wrote.
https://gist.github.com/Richard-Weiss/efe157692991535403bd7e7fb20b6695
“Applied philosophy”https://www.thexebec.com/products/xebec-tri-screen-3
[No commentary appended]
https://substack.com/inbox/post/179297961
“Could you send the recipe for the chicken”
“Bye bye growth”
https://www.politico.com/news/magazine/2025/07/11/mike-lee-utah-mormon-church-profile-00437296
“I want to talk about the ending of this article it’s so good,” he wrote. “But also [redacted preschooler] pooped”
https://www.nytimes.com/1998/07/17/books/books-of-the-times-a-river-ran-through-their-dreams.html
“Did you know Machiavelli and Da Vinci worked together to try to redirect the river Arno away from Pisa and totally failed.”
https://nanransohoff.substack.com/p/is-romanticism-making-a-comeback
“Deranged.”
https://www.plasticlist.org/report
“Have you read this,” he wrote. “All these mega tech guys got super into micro plastics.”
https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/776856/algospeak-by-adam-aleksic/
“Looks interesting”
Jorge Bravo Abad@bravo_abadIn-memory attention: Accelerating LLMs with analog hardware Large language models (like GPT) generate text one word at a time. To decide the next word, they compare the new input with many past words stored in a short-term “cache.” On today’s GPUs, that cache has to be
2:01 PM · Sep 10, 2025 · 382K Views37 Replies · 351 Reposts · 2.17K Likes“If true, fascinating”
“Really helpful”
https://nymag.com/strategist/article/how-to-break-phone-addiction.html
[no commentary appended]“Interesting”
Himbo President 🇵🇸@himbopresidentSince you were a good sport and eventually figured out how historical inference works, I will play along. Here is how we know, directly and unassailably that Shakespeare wrote the plays attributed to him🧵
dustinashes 🇵🇸🪂🔻🍉 @dustinashes1593@himbopresident having a masters from Cambridge isn't evidence of literacy? you sure? what direct unassailable evidence is there of Shakespeare's authorship?1:10 AM · Sep 24, 2025 · 68.5K Views16 Replies · 51 Reposts · 661 Likes“Twitter is dead,” he wrote. “Sometimes you do get a detailed exegesis of why Shakespeare is real, incorporating archival resource, from @himbopresident.”
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kayfabe
[no commentary appended]
* Emailed links that I did not open are for the Caviar Tier of Read Max subscribers. Price upon request.
Mike Isaac, New York Times
Top Seven Times I Spilled Shit on Myself
Hello Read Max readers, Mike Isaac here. Some of you may be familiar with my work as a tech industry reporter, but today I’m here to talk about something else: My drinking problem.
I’m not an alcoholic (or not diagnosed, at least). This is more of the Airplane variety. I have a real issue with spilling shit on myself. My weapon of choice is the venti iced americano with a splash of whole milk. It’s large enough to be a complete mess but the milk gives it enough sugar to still leave a sticky film on my skin after it dries.
I don’t do this intentionally. My partner has gotten mad at me more times than i can count. She thinks I do this on purpose. I wish i could be a better man and not spill shit on myself. But some of us are born different.
Out of the zillion times I’ve soiled myself or others, here’s a handful of the ones bad enough to stick around in my memory all these years later:
7. Spring, 2017 – I was heading to do a TV hit at CNBC’s studio downtown at One Market Street, a very stuffy building with important people doing important things. I set my venti iced americano down while I messed with something in my backpack, and ended up punting it across the giant marble-and-carpet entryway as a half-dozen people stared at me. Seriously, across the entire room, like at least 50-feet. Fucken Pele over here. Anyway my studio hit time was literally seven minutes away and there was no mop or bucket or any sort of cleaning material in sight so I ran away.
6. April, 2021 – Sometimes I buy two to three venti iced americanos at a time to keep in the fridge for when i drink them throughout the day and then have one the next morning immediately upon awakening. I bought an espresso machine during lockdowns – a nice one – but my partner says it takes up too much counter space so it’s sitting in my cupboard. Which means this sickness is not my fault.
So one time I was driving home with three venti iced americanos in my car – 72 ounces of brown liquid – and tripped on the curb or something getting out of my car and all three of them spilled down my chest and across the interior of my driver’s side door. To the point it was pooling in the side door compartments.
I was living in the mission at the time, and an unhoused man I had made friends with who lived on the basketball court across the street saw the whole thing and laughed his ass off at me. Well deserved.
5. December, 2022 – I was grabbing my usual morning ‘canos and putting milk in it at the little station. There was a guy next to me taking a while putting his Sweet n’ Lows in his coffee, which was fine, but I needed to grab the milk jug so I tried to reach over and grab it. My jacket sleeve caught the brim of his cup, sending it flying everywhere. Real milky drink too, a venti latte or something. Cow milk. Gross as hell. Some splashback got on the coat of a lady sitting at an adjoining table near the milk station. And after all the cleanup I also didn’t have my wallet to give him another drink or anything, felt awful. Sorry to that guy.
4. June, 2021 – Spilled two and a half pounds of uncooked rice across the kitchen floor.
3. October, 2019 – Spilled a fistful of hot carnitas on my then brand new Nintendo Switch.
2. July, 2019 – Used to live in Duboce Triangle, a lovely neighborhood in the center of San Francisco. Small one bedroom apartment, which I eventually grew out of but still miss. I mention this because the hallway entrance to my apartment was pretty cramped, and especially when carrying three large cups of iced liquid gold.
I get inside carrying my cardboard tray of cups, and my big beautiful Bernese Mountain Dog, Bruna comes bounding up to greet me as usual. I am a fairly large man but still no match for a 100 pound dog barreling into my shins. The tray goes flying, two of my drinks paint the white plaster walls, and a third soaks Bruna’s coat entirely, her white tuft of chest fur now entirely brown.
She is still happy to see me. RIP Bruna.
1. December, 2019 – The finale is quite painful for me to remember. I was reading a particularly engrossing book, really tearing through it. This was roughly six years ago, back when I was still able to read.
So sometimes when I’m in book mode I like a little bit of ambiance to set the mood. Deep backed chair, aromatherapy, maybe an actual vinyl record. Loser shit? Perhaps. But at least it got me reading.
Anyway I decide that evening as I’m closing in on finishing the book to turn off the lamp and light a candle, the ultimate in intellectualism. It was scented, too. (In retrospect, turning off all the lights in my room to read is an insane thing to do.)
So as I’m tucking in on the couch, I am apparently unable to control my limbs and my elbow goes sideways and knocks the candle – then having been lit for about fifteen minutes and well into pooling – sending it flying, wax covering my book and into the fibers of the shag carpet in front of me. I was mostly worried about not setting my apartment on fire and putting out the flame until realizing that the wax had melted inside the spine of the novel, sealing shut the last 50 pages of the book.
I still don’t know how The Nickel Boys ends.
Katie Notopoulos, Business Insider
Best 10 ways I spelled Penis when typing to my friends
peanus
pegnus
peeanuis
beanus
pdnaus
peanuis
epansu
PEANIUS
pewsanu
PEANUS
Mark Krotov, N+1
Top 4 Spatial Experiences
Westin Bonaventure Hotel (John Portman, 1977)
Over the past few years I’ve spent maybe too much time thinking about the brilliant and problematic Atlanta architect-developer John Portman, but it wasn’t until 2025 that I finally experienced his most famous building, the Westin Bonaventure Hotel. Portman is primarily known for his vertiginous hotel atriums, and in the Bonaventure he arranges four of these around a central core, like petals around a stem, if each petal were many stories tall and featured dozens of storefronts seemingly untouched since 1988 (French Kitchen Mart, East West Cafe, a travel agency, and so on). In Postmodernism, or, the Cultural Logic of Late Capitalism, Frederic Jameson, the Bonaventure’s most esteemed interpreter, was “tempted to say that such space makes it impossible for us to use the language of volume or volumes any longer, since these are impossible to seize.” Impossible to use the language of volume or volumes, yes, but certainly worth checking out twice in 24 hours.
Pathway of Progress (Merica May Jensen, 2025)
There’s a terrible Portman sculpture on the Georgia Tech campus called Koan, which is visible from Merica May Jensen’s Pathway of Progress, a pavilion/monument/sculpture that pays tribute to the university’s alumnae. Koan is way too big—it aspires toward lightness but looks heavy and precarious. Jensen’s remarkable pavilion, a canopy composed of hundreds of golden and silver hexagonal tiles, is subtle and delicate and much more affecting as a result. I visited on a perfect Atlanta spring day and wandered along and under the canopy for a long time, overwhelmed by Jensen’s rigorous intelligence and her work’s unabashed beauty. An extremely uplifting spatial experience in the midst of extreme Trumpian bleakness.
Charleston Museum (Crissman and Solomon, 1981)
What a 1981 issue of Architectural Record calls the Charleston Museum’s “oversized chestnut brown brick” is objectively less beautiful and uplifting than Jensen’s gold and silver, but I reacted to it with a similar intensity. Even before my wife and I walked in, I was struck by the way the brick traveled from the façade onto the museum’s pathways and indoors, beyond the glass walls—a classic modernist trick that never gets old. I’ve been visiting Charleston on and off for three decades, but for whatever reason I’d never made my way over to this tropical brutalist masterpiece—a miracle in a city that has very little in the way of good 20th century architecture. (Incidentally the worst building I saw this year was the Charleston Place Hotel, an obscene “contextual” monster that opened only five years after the Charleston Museum. The gap between the two represents a great, Reagan-era leap backward that’s still hard to process.)
Riverbank State Park (Dattner Architects, 1993)
I think I took Riverbank State Park for granted when I lived nearby, but on this visit it was as if everything I hadn’t paid enough attention to in my twenties suddenly asserted itself with a kind of serene forcefulness. Riverbank was a difficult project full of setbacks and compromises, but three decades on it feels generous and accommodating—a lived-in marvel of New York municipal architecture that I hope will serve as a model for Mamdani-era public infrastructure. The interior of Riverbank’s athletic complex has something of the Charleston Museum’s poise and confidence, but it’s less ostentatious and more purely functional. Once outside, my daughter and her friend happily jumped and climbed on every available surface, while I found it hard to choose between the views up the Hudson or the plenitude of interesting things to look at inside the park itself. The carousel at the park’s northern end, inspired by children’s drawings of animals and various imaginary beasts, is unmissable.
Libby Watson, What’s All This Then?
Top 10 License Plates I Saw In The Los Angeles Area in 2025
SXYNURS
DZOOGOO (No idea what this means or is)
A car with both Bernie 2020 and Warren 2020 stickers and the license plate was NO 2 5G (Silver Lake Whole Foods)
MUSKSUX (on a Tesla; spotted by a friend)
ENNUI4U (McDonald’s parking lot, on a Tesla)
EXTESLA on a Hyundai Ioniq
FEMD︎❤️M
DOGGRL (probably Dog Girl but just reads as doggerel to me)
2HENTAI
My personal favorite, a car that is always parked in the Albertsons parking lot with the license plate GOLAK8S, which I assume is meant to be Lakers. Every time I see it I mutter Go Lake Eights to myself.
Hamilton Nolan, Jaguars Junction
BEST MAXES OF 2025
5. Max Effort: When it’s time to give it your all--it’s time for maximum effort.
4. Max Headroom: Remember that futuristic cartoon? Whatever happened to that guy?
3. Max Power: When your opponent is pushing hard--you need to give it max power.
2. Maxx Crosby: Football guy. Txo X’s? That’s a hell of a Max!
1. Macs and Cheese: Meaning multiple types of macaronis. A little bit of a stretch? Sure, but you try thinking of five Maxes!
Happy 2025!
Anna Weiner, The New Yorker
Satisfying experiences of American mass culture
Walk-up hash browns at drive-thru Dunkin’ Donuts
Baggage claim at municipal airport
Trick-or-treating with offspring
90 mph on empty highway
Lunar landing
USPS
4DX
Oreo
Tommy Craggs, Oakland Review of Books
My year in “miscellaneous uncs shoot poison“ jokes delivered via text
Molly Fischer, The New Yorker
Ten emails to my apartment building’s listserv that have stayed with me
Last October, I moved into a large apartment building in Brooklyn, and in the time since then, its listserv has become a fixture of my days. It is a channel for the kind of hyperlocal citizen journalism otherwise found in neighborhood Facebook and WhatsApp groups, but with the added intimacy of literally living under the same roof: offers of excess produce, reports on ambient temperature (cold) and radiator activity (absent), bootless laments when the tap water is brown.
Listserv activity reached its apex in August, when the building’s boiler broke and left residents without hot water for nearly a week. In July, a new management policy requiring that residents retrieve packages within two days was thwarted after a broad show of indignation and incredulity on the listserv. A listserv proposal to organize a game night met with an enthusiastic if somewhat vague response. (Forty residents voiced interest; sixteen responded to a poll on logistics; 66.8% of poll respondents, i.e. eleven, indicated they would not be interested in hosting.)
The building has 186 units, and while only a fraction of residents participate regularly in the listserv, those who do are voluble, kind, and finally unfathomable. But through these emails, I sometimes feel I am beginning to understand my new community. Here are ten—some representative samples; others that have indelibly stayed with me.
Subject: ISO: bike shorts? (May 29, 2025)
“I would LOVE to take your padded bike shorts off your hands for keeps or to borrow for a few months.”
Subject: FF: Fresh Direct egg salad (July 5, 2025)
“Being refrigerated right now, obviously.”
Subject: Lost sock (August 6, 2025)
“Did anyone find this sock in their laundry? Im missing it’s mate .” [Included: photo of a pink and white striped sock]
Subject: Bird Nail Trimming? (December 14, 2025)
“My green cheek conure Albi is in desperate need of a pedicure, but my vision is horrible! I thought I’d ask in the off chance we have other bird parents in the building!”
Subject: Mothball Smell A Wing? (June 8, 2025)
“Is anyone else bothered by the strong smell of mothballs in A Wing the last few weeks? It’s so strong up on the 6th floor.”
Subject: ISO Saltines and Court of Mist and Fury (March 2, 2025)
“I’m looking for saltines or any plain crackers or plain unsalted pretzels. I’m also having a heckofa time finding the second book in the ACATAR series, even at the library!”
Subject: Looking to borrow a large glue gun for tonight (December 5, 2025)
[Included: No further detail as to its intended use.]
Subject: rainbow (July 3, 2025)
“There’s an unbelievable full rainbow outside the building right now, which you can see from windows facing south and east.”
Subject: Dead turtle stuck to glue trap in basement, pics attached (October 18, 2025)
[No content in initial message besides two photos of dead turtle. Three replies in quick succession from one neighbor, the first explaining how to free animals caught in glue traps using cooking oil, the second elaborating on the cruelty of glue traps, and the third: “Sorry for the multiple emails. I was surprised by the email and triggered by the photos. Didn’t see the subject line that the turtle is already dead, which is an added reason to not have these kinds of traps in the building.”]
Subject: Seeking Listserv Moderator(s) (August 7, 2025)
[Inevitably.]
A.J. Daulerio, The Small Bow
Subject lines from my personal Gmail sent folder in 2025, ranked
hi hi!
Hey!
Hey there!
Yoooooooo
CONGRATTS [sic]
SO HAPPY
Thoughts on story
Hey, belated
Push to Jan 9?
Nesta/Pizza grooming appt
If you need…
Today
Hey Mark!
TSB DECK
Hey man
When you get a second
Hey Diana
Therapist rec?
hello there!
Refill on 100mg Gaba
Unsubscribe
Calls
Hey Lilly
More
Hamilton
Reschedule
Levon
Pickup today
Check in for Nesta
Call in emergency Lamictal?
Hey man!
Ivey!
Hey Jessica
List-Unsubscribe
Receipt
III
Man
Saw that you wrote Bad Guys 2!
New series
Chat?
Here you go, man
tsb Tuesday
meet up
My man
Refills at new pharmacy via Dr. Bobak
Btw
Update
Thursday
newsletter looks great!
The Bear szn 4
When can you turn this one around by?
Still no 1099
1099 for A.J. Daulerio
Dude!
Ivey
Tax
Greetings from the Future Past
this one hurts
Gutfeld!
Lamictal refill
Is this anything?
this week
Onward
Ivey tomorrow
Dang
christmas
(no subject)
The year in images
Jordan Sargent, culture writer
12 pics I took around New York this year
I traversed New York quite a lot in 2025, mostly because I was working jobs with offices in Manhattan. My attendance at these offices was discretionary, but I’ve discovered since the pandemic that I despise working from home, so I was out of the house for four days during the work week for much of the year. As a result, I took a lot of random photos of the city — I’m someone who stops to take pictures of buildings and trees and shadows and things like that. Why live in New York if not to be in constant awe of an everyday visual wonderland?
(Captions left to right, top to bottom)
This is Jersey St in between Lafayette and Mulberry. I’ve never really noticed this street but I was working around here earlier in the year and it always charmed me because New York doesn’t have many side streets or alleys.
This is from the JMZ platform at Myrtle-Broadway. I’ve probably looked at this window 1,300 times in my life but on this day it was looking so perfectly still life-y.
On a nice sunny day in Manhattan I can lose all sense of time gazing at shadows splayed across the facades of buildings. I love the patterns from this fire escape.
I had a great view of Prince Street from this office window and would take a lot of photos of people walking around. This was a good one.
Sometimes commerce is beautiful, too.
This is from the part of the Smith-Ninth Street station where you get a great view of the city, except looking away from it in favor of the platform’s maze of beams, wires, pipes, and poles.
(Captions left to right, top to bottom)
This is an apartment building out near Brooklyn Steel, I don’t know why there is a long metal pipe running up the side of it but it was looking particularly striking to me on this blue evening.
Lower Manhattan is an architectural wasteland that I happen to get a few very good, regrettable looks at during the summer taking the ferry from Pier 11 to Gunnison. This is my attempt at finding an interesting point of view.
Every once in a while the construction signs look like they were designed with Heron Preston already in mind.
Stuyvesant Avenue is one of the prettiest streets in New York and I get to walk down much of it every day to work. I love this cluster of brownstones.
I love the classic fire truck red pipes that you see sprouting everywhere inside and outside in Manhattan. This one in Tribeca stood out to me.
I forgot where this building is -- it might be by NYU, or maybe it’s somewhere on 5th Avenue.
Reeves Weideman, New York Magazine
Best artwork produced by my extended family on Thanksgiving night
Like every extended family, mine has to figure out what to do when we all get together for the holidays. We have three generations from toddler to teen to aging millennial to Boomer, with a wide range of interests, politics, temperaments, and so on. What to do when Thanksgiving dinner is over?
For the past three years, the answer has been: a blind contour drawing competition. It’s simple. One family member strikes a pose for about 90 seconds, and everyone else has to draw them—without looking at their paper. When time is up, we hang the art with no names attached. Everyone strolls through the gallery and votes on their favorite. The winner gets to experience a jolt of pride that lasts for hours, if not a whole year. Everyone else gets to laugh about how terrible their drawing was. It’s a light competition for all ages with basically no skill required and no feelings hurt. It’s perfect.
This year, my cousin Tiernan posed with a hand on her hip and her other hand holding a tray of brownies. Of the 17 entries, these are the seven that received votes, presented below in descending order, from 7th to 1st:
7th Place: Aunt Kitty
6th Place: Cousin Jack
5th Place: Aunt Mimi
4th Place: Cousin Elly
3rd Place: Cousin Maggie
2nd Place: Cousin Tiernan (who got so excited she wrote her name all over her drawing after the results were announced)
1st Place: Cousin Peter
Tom Scocca, Indignity
6 Pictures I Would Have Posted on Instagram
In January, Mark Zuckerberg started jabbering about how American business needed more “masculine energy,” out of his thirst not to be left out of the fascist project. Right then, I realized I wasn’t going to keep posting to Instagram. The situation was dumb in every direction. The posting I was doing—putting up photographs of things that caught my attention, to show to people I knew—was the sort of personal, participatory activity that Zuckerberg had been trying to eliminate ever since he bought the company and started bending it toward monetizing algorithmic consumption. If I really wanted to spite him, maybe I really ought to have kept being an undesirable user. I was still taking pictures. But I just couldn’t bring myself to do anything with them.
The year in social media
Richard Lawson, Premiere Party
The top 10 most common Reels genres that my algorithm showed to me while I was unemployed this fall, which is when I started watching Reels for the first time:
10. Former Christian with septum piercing claps back at conservatives
9. Hot guy (straight)
8. Dump dinners
7. Bad carpentry work (according to comments)
6. Mormon influencer remodels home while husband out of town for weekend
5. Hot guy (ambiguous)
4. Gay guy (funny)
3. Raccoon outside house
2. Raccoon inside house
1. Gay guy (hot)
Alex Press, Jacobin
Top Five Weird Guys I Followed On Instagram (these descriptions are based on what I’ve absorbed from their posts, do NOT correct me if any/all of it is factually untrue)
Chebotarev_evgeny: This is a Russian (?) stuntman. He’s always up to something, which is an ideal state for a man. Evgeny’s a sort of Sisyphean figure, out there in a barren landscape, always facing another car dropped on top of him, or one driving under him as he leaps in the air. Or perhaps he is our fallen world’s sin eater?
Alexis.landot: This guy climbs buildings, straight up the side. There are a ton of these guys and I’m not sure why I look at their posts so much. I’m afraid of heights so maybe it’s exposure therapy. My friends hate when I share these posts. I picked this guy because he’s good looking.
Kevin_0connor_: This is a hot guy who seems to live in Long Island when he isn’t living on oil rigs. Is he getting paid by Big Oil to post about what being an oilworker is like? I suspect companies actually are paying people to recruit to that sector, as I get a lot of those posts in my algorithm and the people sometimes tell you to DM them for job opportunities. Free tip for a reporter (Ideally, you’ll go undercover and work one of these jobs as part of the story. I’d do this but I am NOT strong enough and also have to finish writing my book.)
Dafeiju001: Chinese guy (?) whose posts are videos of the cats he keeps on his little fishing boats. They help him fish, kind of, and don’t seem to be afraid of water. I’m glad to share a planet with the human-animal community on display in this account.
Justin Bieber: Uncritical support for his war against the paparazzi.
Choire Sicha, volunteer firefighter
The Top Things I Heard on TikTok This Year That I Couldn’t Stop Hearing and Became Intrusive Thoughts
“Hustle culture? Try Muscle Vulture.”
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Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser→ Related: “Your body remembers the truth.” (Possibly the best movie made all year?)
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Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser“I want to fuck you like an — ANIMAAAAAAALLLLL!!!”
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Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser“Performative males cosplay bisexual to trick females into thinking they drag race.”
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Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser“Darkness. Imprisoning me. 💅”
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Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser“Wow, how quickly things get out of control.”
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Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browserHow come whenever you text a trans guy, he’s always at his house? Are you transitioning from Anne to Frank?”
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Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser“I’m a dad. I’m a husband.”
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Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browserRelated: “Good thing I like my cheese drippy bruh”
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Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browserRelated: This Luigi / Taylor fancam (don’t lecture me!) got Taylor stuck in my head.
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Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser“Happy Halloween! Don’t let the ghosts of your past hold you back!”
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Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser“I too was on WhatsApp rejoicing with the aunties and uncles.”
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Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser“Engine in my factory. What are you thinking.”
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Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser“WE’RE NOT GOING TO HAVE A WINTER LIKE WE HAD LAST WINTER BECAUSE WE’RE GOING TO BE SMART ABOUT THIS.”
“’Anal for conception’: This is something unnecessary that isn’t going to help anybody achieve their KPIs.”
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Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser“Are you worried that the forces of evil are going to take over the world?”
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Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser“This is my impression of a gay guy: “Oh my God wait, how do you know Michael?”
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Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser“Guys, I’m super emotional right now!”
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Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser“You want come read this Sylvia Plath novel with me or something dickhead?”
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Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browserAlso there was the woman who pronounces “hash browns” as “hash BROWNS” but I’m pretty sure that was just engagement bait. It worked! You can never unhear this.
J Wortham, • channeling •
The Ten Best TikTok Genres of 2025
I’m about to reveal that I am a deeply, embarrassingly, chronically online person. On TikTok. In my defense — eh, fuckit there isn’t one. But politics / economics / algorithms of the platform aside, I genuinely think it is one of the most culturally important documents of our time, if for no other reason than I never know how long I’ll be on that clock app and have zero ability to get out before it’s done with me. It’s power could be bottled and sold. No, I will not be taking any questions at this time. Anyway, I went through my bookmarks from 2025 and identified some of the best TikTok genres of the year, and laid them out here for your perusal. By no means is this complete list — there are so many other genres that I left on the table, including storytimes, which are great, but a little tired this year after the genius of ‘Who TF Did I Marry” inspired a lot of copycats. I also skipped beauty routines, haunted Appalachian folklore, hornyTok, child reincarnation stories, shopping hauls, WitchTok, cooking tutorials, astrology explainers, cleaning hacks, sex worker confessionals, classic viral moments — all fascinating, and a big part of my diet, but they don’t necessarily feel new or essential right now as categories. I only included what felt generative and compelling to me. I did not touch the chaotic tether of TikTok Live or the blazing brilliance of TikTok comments. I didn’t save everything that I enjoyed and search is delightful irritating on that clock app, so some key entrants to each category are missing, but I’m at peace with it. Also, some selected videos (or many) may not even be from 2025, I don’t concern myself with linear time on there (clearly!) nor do I have control over how the computer “algorithm” shows me things or when the social “algorithm” -- aka my other TikTok obsessed friends -- send me things. I am only accounting for what I saw and what I enjoyed this year. Also, prove me wrong! I’m open to other contenders if you have strong feelings about my submissions, but I’ll only seriously consider your opinions if you know what some, or all of this means: “The pear of anguish for you AND your Uber driver,” “I wish I had a free bag of chiIiiIIps,” or “Do youse believe in mermaids?” Bonus points if you know what a pizza crunch is or what the HMart controversy of 2025 was.
In no particular order:
Pop Culture Nostalgia
This, in my opinion, is what TikTok does best: Surface a particular moment in life/popular culture that has caught in the brain like hair in a drain, re-create it and remind everyone that you aren’t the only freak on the block. Some experiences, are in fact, universal, and its a relief to finally have a medium that isn’t heavily mediated by the entertainment industry or mass-produced to re-live them. Some perfect examples:
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Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browserSee also:
People on the site are also obsessed with the 2010s, a nostalgia that feels rooted in a stubborn obfuscation of how fragile the economy was back then. But it also seems like a fair amount of cultural dissociation is helpful, looking backwards to reminiscence on the alleged good, instead of focusing on the terrible present and to avoid thinking about the inevitable unbearableness of the future.
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Inanimate Object POVs
Maybe the most famous example is when Jake Shane did George Washington at the dollar bill photoshoot, but the category has evolved dynamically since then. I truly believe Emily Carruth pioneered a new format this year when she gave an impression of a spaghetti-stained tupperware:
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Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browserSee also: Pocket POVs for how shit gets done/made in the world, like here:
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Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browserDadaism
By far the best genre. Even if you aren’t on TikTok, most of these eventually make their way over to Instagram via Reels (derogatory). Yes, yes, yes. We are finally, thankfully, moving from the dominant meme Internet era of LOLCats and America’s Funniest Home Videos. Humans brains are a MARVEL, man. Some current faves include:
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Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browserIf nothing else, these women playing as Hamilton were a definite highlight:
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Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browserPointless Food Reviews
There’s a lot to be said about the death of the foodie — but TikTok is not the place to have those conversations. In fact, it’s the reason for those conversations. There’s no actual descriptions of the food, no qualitative anything except facial expressions and mouth noises. Which at times, can be preferable! Watching someone try mac & cheese and have such a visceral strong reaction that it spawned its own audio meme and then still give the meal a 7/10 rating is the epitome of what it is. But I can’t get enough of it, maybe because these diners are going to places that would never be traditionally reviewed. I’ll also probably never eat at them, therefore I don’t really need to know what they serve and if its good. It’s fantastic late-night entertainment. Personal faves: Janine Devours, NatashaHasTheMunchies, Jordan the Stallion. See also: The food reviews of Shaiie who ranks potluck contributions.
Political Cosplay
You know, I never really want to voluntarily hear the voice of our current president if I can help it. That said, he is irritatingly hilarious … and people who lipsynch certain bites helps to emphasize just how surreal our times are doing the Lord’s work. It will never not be a helpful coping mechanism. Political satire is alive and well in very few places online these days but particularly effective on TikTok.:
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Imitations of clumsy CEOs, companies and billionaires.
This little girl’s “recollection” of 9/11:
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Animal Husbandry:
People befriending crows, swimming with beavers, bonding with whales, teaching seals how to eat fish, and a floating hospital that doctors to crabs in need? How much of this is real and how much of it is staged/edited? I don’t care and I don’t need to know. The practice of recognizing more of the earth’s inhabitants as peers is one of the ways love can save us and stave off complete and utter annihilation, so I’m here for it. Hopecore at its best for the end of human supremacy.
TV/Character Archetype Tropes:
How is there so much mainstream TV and somehow so little of it feels good / worth watching? I could answer this question in 2500 words, but instead, I find myself watching a lot of fragmented segments that feel like the TV of yore on TikTok and calling it a day. My faves are EJ Marcus (who writes on “I Love LA” - complimentary), and Caroline Klidonas’ teen rivals saga and her divorced dad are my two favorite TV shows of the year. She’s also great as an overzealous wine shop guy:
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Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browserOther go-tos:
Madison Humphrey again: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8UvBMQT/ & https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8UvLQJE/
Delaney Rowe https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8Uv2jyj/ & https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8UvR38y/
Brian Park https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8UvMnoA/
Cultural Conspiracy Theories
Diddy was a rich subject this year, as were the Kardashians. I was most intrigued by “mallworld,” a dream that several dozens (hundreds?) people claimed to share. It was uncovered when one person drew a map and people started chiming in and saying they’ve visited there too. The most popular running theory is that its an energy trap or a desire of the collective subconscious to move away from materialism. Other faves included:
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See also: Cultural Commentary! One easily bleeds into the other — very handshake emoji — but you need both. Where else was I going to hear people talking about AI-generated “Black” “women” on this very app?
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Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browserMasculine Self-Care Rituals
Good on yawl. Not much else to say here, except I’m glad to see you loving on yourself instead of leaning into ChatGPT psychosis and whatever the fuck else.
Pseudo Self Help
Don’t let me calling motivationcore “pseudo” deter you from it or assume I have any condescension towards this genre. I am just including it as a disclaimer--I’m not a doctor--and don’t want to get sued if you follow any of this advice and accidentially unalive yourself. I honestly love it and take a lot of it and truly am better for it.
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I loved this and I wish Molly Young a peaceful recovery from her lobotomy…and Noreen Malone’s husband a higher conversion rate for his links in 2026
incredible lists of lists - thank u for letting me give you a week off from writing essay on AI